Day 5: Still Jobless

Day 5: Still Jobless

Been sending out applications and getting no results. There were job offers, but I don’t know what these employers are looking for. I hate that they’re asking a bunch of things and then not getting back or at least getting feedback if I passed the requirements or not. It’s a little frustrating.

I’m a little on edge these days because I know that days go by fast, and the due dates and bills are not stopping. I’m trying to stay positive, but somehow I’m a little desperate at the moment.

I’ve always been working, and not having one right now is not a good idea for me. Sure, I enjoy the downtime, but I don’t want to be stuck in this situation all over again.

I believe there’s a job for me out there, but I hope I can find one soon. These bills aren’t waiting for me. They’ll keep piling up if I don’t have a source of income ASAP.

God help me. I am so anxious.

positive thinking

By the Way I Also Paint

 

I am an artist. While I work online as a writer, my heart belongs to art. I get happy when I see colors and illustrations. I draw but more of a sketch.

My first medium was watercolor. I still use it but not as much as acrylics. Right now, things are tough for me. I hardly have enough to get me by this month. So, here I am, trying my luck to sell my artwork.

These are some of the available paintings that I am trying to sell.

If anyone is interested, send me a message. I can roll them and send them to you, given that you also pay the shipping fee. I am not asking thousands of dollars for them, just enough to get me through the month. I am also accepting commissions. I would appreciate all the help!

I’m shy when it comes to selling my paintings because, as an artist, I feel like I’m not doing much. But I learned through the years. And these are hard times for me. I lost both my jobs, and art is the only thing that saved me.

If you’re interested, send me a message. You can also check out my work through my IG account at @ohgeeziactually. Thank you very much!

JOBLESS: A Story of Panic and Hope

So, I lost my job today. Not because I did something wrong. It was the company’s decision to let all of us go because of financial matters. After the meeting we had with our bosses last night, it was an automatic decision that we no longer have a job.

There were signs that the company was in trouble. At least I saw it before anyone else. One was my usual working hours were cut off by 75%, and I was barely working at all. I had to find a way to extend my work hours so I could get by. I knew something was up then. And last night was a confirmation.

We were all silent. And although the decision was to temporarily close the company to re-evaluate things, it was still heartbreaking. I was having a panic attack, and my anxiety was rising. And it took me a lot of strength to stay calm and not cry in Zoom.

We’ve been working with these amazing nurses for almost two years, and they were my best employers. They paid well, helped us with our needs, and especially to me. They helped me get through my moving out and into my tiny home. They offered financial aid when I had nothing left (as a credit, of course), and I will surely miss our stories and jokes with each other each time we’re in a meeting. It wasn’t just a team. It was my tiny family online. And it took me a lot to hold back my tears.

Though some of us are still optimistic that the company can come back, we can’t hardly say for sure. These are hard times. Inflation is still affecting us all, along with other issues in the world.. When you look at it, you can feel so hopeless.

You can say we’re not the only ones who lost their jobs. But then again, I don’t want to stay idle or feel sorry for myself.

So, here I am, sending out applications for whatever job I think I can do. I’m a writer, but that’s about it. I don’t know if someone out there will give me a chance, but I pray they will.

I don’t feel as hopeless. I am more of sad that I won’t be working for these young guys anymore. I hope and pray that things will get better for them so we can get our jobs back.

Nothing is impossible with prayer, and I have tested and proven this. As dark as my sense of humor is and as cautious as I am, I do pray a lot. And all I can say is there is hope. No matter how many roadblocks you encounter in this life, your situation won’t stay the same. Everything is temporary. You can still make the best of it.

As long as you are breathing and you believe that something good is bound to happen, it will.

What’s your current roadblock? If you are in this situation, know that there is hope. There is always something out there. We just have to look up and pray. As you do, take some action as well. Words without action are ineffective. They go hand in hand.

So, if you are in the same boat as me, WE GOT THIS! There is hope. Trust the process.. everything will work out for us. If not, then know that there’s something better coming. DO NOT LOSE YOUR FAITH.

Our God is a God of Abundance, and He is still in the business of making miracles. He will give us our needs as long as we ask.

My First Writing Job Was an Awful Experience

My First Writing Job Was an Awful Experience

I have been working since 2011 as an online writer. At first, I had ZERO ideas about it, and I wasn’t trained to be a writer, although I love writing about things. As a child, I remembered writing feverishly about stories I made up while keeping watch of our little store.

As I got older, these dreams slowly faded away… And then I became an adult. After my parents died, I had no place to go and no job to support me. Somebody suggested I try working online, so my job search began. I browsed and browsed and thought I didn’t have the skills these people were looking for, except that I love to write. So, I searched for a writing job and eventually found one. I was a content writer/ virtual assistant of sorts. My client was also starting his “empire” back then, and he had me as his first writer. I was honest with him from the get-go because I didn’t want to waste his time. I told him I had no experience as it was my first job. But he gave me a chance, so I took it.

I wasn’t that confident with my skills, but I needed the job because I got bills to pay. I crawled up, and this guy gave me many things to write. From microblogs, e-books, blogs, and all that. I remember I had to finish 10-15 microblogs each day from 150-300 words back then. By the end of the week, I was exhausted. All that at $110 PER MONTH. I didn’t know he was taking advantage of me because I was new.

As the years rolled in, he eventually hired a VA. She was his favorite. Always sending her gifts, flowers, and cake for her (and her husband’s) wedding anniversary. Yeah, she was married. I don’t know what kind of setup they had, but I thought it was weird. I, on the other hand, never had any except once when he remembered my birthday. And that was the only time he made a nice gesture. After two years, I asked for a raise, and from 110$, he raised my pay to 120$.

By my 5th year, I was paid $200. Can you spell abuse? LOL yeah, I realized that he was abusing me when I learned to look for a part-time job. My part-time job paid me better than he did after my years of service. Anyway, I left his ass after 5 years because he never paid my 13th month for two years, and he stated no reason. The first time he did it, he never said anything. I thought maybe I did a bad job. The second and last time he did it, he never said anything AGAIN. I finally got fed up and told our VA I was quitting. I didn’t even speak to him. Call it being disrespectful, but I was fed up. I left a resignation letter and never spoke to him again.

Oh, this guy is still around. He still has an online business. In fact, he made a name for himself. Sort of. I don’t want to name him. But yeah, he is probably one of the known names for SEO. I wish him well. I never learned much from him since he was a noob in the industry then. But he was a hustler, and he knew he was hustling me.

Moral of the Story

Your takeaway in this story is that always know your worth as an employee. Always speak up when you’re struggling with work. Online jobs are great, but sometimes, there are people out there who will take advantage of your skills and trust. Don’t be afraid to have another job, even if it’s a part-time one. Manage your time wisely. Don’t overwork yourself for someone who isn’t mindful of your efforts, let alone pay you enough.

We, Filipinos, are always respectful and hardworking, especially when our clients are from other countries, but that doesn’t mean we can’t speak up for ourselves. Remember, they need us. We can lose our jobs, but we can always find another. Don’t be afraid to explore and find the right company. Someone out there will always give you a chance. And someone out there will always give you value.

 

Dreamless

gone are the days when i spun the webs of dreams in my head
gone are the days when i would run away from the monsters under the bed
it seemed so clear, like the night skylines that are draped with dying stars..

everything is empty.
and clear and spotless.

thank you for leaving my dreams.

 

 

April Jed 042915

Abruptly, Unexpectedly

my heart was in your hands
as fragile as it was..
as delicate as it was..
as happy as it was..
and in a moment of pleasure, you let go.. breaking it into pieces
like it was nothing..

and i was left with questions
and vague answers
and tears
and hurt
and pain

all of a sudden, my chest became hollow.

 

 

April Jed 042815

Proposal

“will you marry me?” he asked for the fourth time..
“you know i will always say yes, why ask again?” i said.
“i want to know if you will ever change your mind about me,”..
” you know i will always say yes,”

what made you change yours?….

 

 

 

April Jed 0202515

A Dashboard Confession: Updates and Whatnots

Dear Readers,

It’s been a while since I have last posted anything on this blog, primarily because of work. I have been working like a mad dog lately and sometimes I wish the earth would just swallow me up so I could leave without any hesitations. As you see, I’m an overworked, underpaid employee but I still can’t leave the job because I am in dire need of money.

Anyways, this is my first post for 2015. I have been writing drafts but can’t seem to finish it. For one I am uninspired and I feel like my inspiration has totally left my heart. Speaking of the heart, yes, I still am in the process of letting go. Trust me, the art of letting go is not as graceful as you think it is. I have tripped, stumbled, fallen, stepped on, crushed, flattened and yet.. I still find myself wondering about the what ifs. What a fucker, right? But do give me time, I will eventually get over this. It’s just fighting your own demons can be a real SOB sometimes.

Yes, I will continue to post poems but I may not be able to do that as often however I will definitely try. I am compiling short poetries these days and planning to put them in a booklet but yeah that’s still a far off plan lol anyway, thank you for being patient guys! I will catch up with y’all soon! Have a good one, take care!

 

xoxo,

April Jed

 

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He

you are, the calm in my storm and the wind on my sails..

the chaos when things are quiet and peaceful.

you are, the stars i gaze upon against the darkest skies..

and the oasis in the desert i walk upon.

the one who shakes my foundations yet rebuilding it once more..

you are, the horizon in which people are searching for and an answer to each seeker.

the one i love, yes you are.. the one i love.

 

 

April Jed 11/21/14